Kagura's Prince
by Rhaide AND Souichirou-chan
Summary: The search for the lost 'PRINCE' shall begin! ...or maybe not ? WARNING: TOO MUCH GAG AND STUPIDITY /ONESHOT/


Translator's note: Errrr….this fanfic was supposed to be posted for Valentine's day LAST YEAR, but because of my laziness, I wasn't able to translate it on time. Gomen, Souichirou-chan.

Writer: Souichirou-chan

Translator: Rhaide

"Oi, wait….Why is it me? Why am I here? Aren't there any opening songs first? And the intro…OI! Animation committee!" Gin had no idea that he was the first character to talk in this story.

It was morning and at this time, the Yorozuya trio was having their breakfast.

"Please, stop it Gin-san. It's just a fanfic. We're not in the real anime." Shinpachi answered.

He's confident that Kagura, the other member of Yorozuya, would not be able to give a sensual answer. She's eating anyway and it's obvious that she doesn't give a damn on this thing even with the title of being "Gintama's heroine" plus, she's the main character in this story.

"What is it again?! Why do we still need to do this 'sideline'. It's those fan girls' fault!"

"Maaa….there's nothing we can do about it..even if we would complain.." Shinpachi said.

"Ah. Then we should get bonus from the director…. With the current crisis that the world faces, it's not that easy to go 'over time' with work." Finally, Kagura spoke.

"And just what do you know about over time?!" Gin asked, "Oi. Shinpachi, what's the title of this story by the way?"

"Ahhhhhh…"

_**KAGURA'S PRINCE (PART 1)**_

_A Gintama Fanfic_

"Ohhhh….They've got the title wrong." Gin said.

"Gin-san, that's already the title."

"I don't get it." Kagura said.

"Will you please just stop it?!" Shinpachi retorted with the idiotic responses of the two, "That's it! Kagura's prince! Prince of Kagura! Idiots!"

"Prince? Ohhh….is that Cedie? The little prince?" Gin commented.

"Gin-chan, I think it's King Kong…the prince of jungle." Kagura said.

"Isn't that Tarzan?"

"Whatever, they're both on the jungle."

"Or maybe, it's Ryoma Echizen."

"Pweehhh…he makes me remember Yamazaki."

"Uggghhhhh…they're getting crazy…Just why did I ever join this stupid group." He didn't spoke another word, he accepted that these two, have no hopes anymore.

30 minutes later….

"Uggghhhhh….How boring." Gin said, getting annoyed with his weekly rations of strawberry milk now gone.

. . . . .

"What? We'll just stare at each other until the readers get tired of this fanfic?" Shinpachi asked, and by looking at the two, he knew he wouldn't get an answer, "Just what is the sense of the title of this fanfic?"

"Wait….What does Kagura's Prince mean?" finally, the China girl became curious of the topic.

*Blink-Blink*

*IDIOTIC BG MUSIC* (The BG music in Gintama whenever ROFL things happen)

…

….

….

"Ah…I know…Let's just open the television, then watch In*Yash*.. There's that Kagura character there, right? Maybe she's the one with a prince..TADA! Kagura's Prince!..Hai, end of the story.. and we'll be having a rest day!" and Gin tried to turn on the TV.

"OIIIIIIII! What are you doing changing the anime completely?! Da- ka- ra! It's that heroine of Gintama, that's the Kagura in the title!" Then Shinpachi pointed Kagura, who just continued eating.

"Uruse! I don't want to hear that from a pair of glasses! Hah!"

"Just why is it always my glasses?!"

1 HOUR LATER….

*IDIOTIC BG music*

"Ahhh…I'm too ashamed. We've been here for a couple of hours yet we have done nothing. " said Shinpachi who just sat down on the corner.

"Just let it be, Pattsuan." Gin said while drinking his strawberry milk, "It's the author's problem to get Kagura's prince."

…

….

….

"So, you already know this story, Gin-san?"

"Hm? Yeah, but…I just can't figure out why this is the story of this fanfic..I mean, this is a Shonen jump anime, not a Shoujo..and besides, Kagura has no prince because there are no loveteams in this anime…and just take a look at her," then they both looked at Kagura who have been consuming a big bowl of rice without any care to anyone, even to this fanfic where she's the main character, "Do you think she'd ever have a love team?"

Shinpachi just gave a sigh and came back to his seat, "I envy the other anime shows, they're getting busy with their Valentine's special right now."

"Eh? But it's been months since Valentine's had passed by!" Gin said.

"Gin-san, just read the statement above and just get along with the story."

"Oi oi, this is not the anime series. You can't publish any out of the season seasonal themed fanfics!"

"Just get back with the dialogue naturally permed guy!" Kagura shouted at him.

Gin just obeyed the pair of glasses, he had no choice anyway. And so, going back to the topic…

"Don't you know, Gin-san and Kagura-chan? Today Kugumiya love teams should have oneshot stories."

"Eh? Wait…Did you just say Kugumiya loveteams?" Gin asked.

Shinpachi nodded.

"Then why the hell are we included? For all I know, almost all Kugumiya love teams are in Shoujo animes… gaaah…they only make your heart flutter… especially that Lou** and that familiar of hers named Sai**… *sigh* Love..that feeling of your first love..I remember that episode when…." Gin was blushing when he suddenly notice that the other two in that room were already staring at him.

"Wooooow. You watch those animes, huh?" Shinpachi said who seemed to be shocked or maybe, disgusted with Gin.

"E-eh? W-wait! O-of course not! I only heard that from the conversations of those young girls in the neighborhood!...just what do you take me for?" Gin defended, though he was fidgety that he couldn't look straight to them.

"He even watched Haya** the Com** But**, To**Dor*, and that Shakug** no Sha**..He didn't miss any episodes, any seasons…" Kagura said, this time munching sukonbu she had been hiding for a week.

"Urusai! Urusai! Urusai!" Gin shouted.

Shinpachi and Kagura just looked at him with disgust on their faces.

"Look Shinpachi, he's even imitating the way that Sha** talks. He's too contaminated." Kagura whispered at Shinpachi.

"Don't look at him Kagura-chan, you'll get infected too. Don't get close to him from now on." Shinpachi whispered back.

"Eh? Somehow my image is now deteriorated." Gin said, "K-kagura-chan? Shinpachi-kun? "

"He's a CHERRY BOY after all. So that's why you're also cherry boy Shinpachi, he infected you." she continued whispering.

"He pretends to know a lot but he's just a pervert, and he's also-"

*ANGER MARK* Gin got mad and clutched their mouths with too much strength, "Shut up you brats! Shounen Jump main characters are all cherry boys!" he took off his hands and just scratched his perm head, "Ahhh! Whatever! I don't care anymore! I'll just spend this day on a parfait house."

"We'll just be wasting our time after all, and besides Otsuu-chan has a concert today. I have to invite Taka-chin." Shin said.

"Do what you want. I'll just play poker, since you're not here with me, there'll be no bad lucks for me. " Kagura said.

Altogether, they came out of the Yorozuya, but then…

"Wait Shinpachi…Kugumiya loveteams was it?" Gin asked.

"Yes. All of the anime girls that Rie Kugumiya voiced and their partners, why?" he answered.

"I think we're forgetting something very important. Kagura,who's your voice actress anyway?" Gin asked.

"Me? I don't know. I don't care."

"Try remembering it!"

"I don't know..I just know it started with Rie then she voiced lots of anime heroines..Ahhhh! let me out! I want to play poker!"

"You dumbass!" Gin smacked her head,"You're one of those Kugimiya loveteams! Dammit! Shinpachi, what's the punishment by the way?"

"Ahhhh….I think it's a 3 day suspension if we forget about it then automatic expulsion of the anime series if we don't follow it."

"WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTTTTTTT!?WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME RIGHT AWAY! JUST WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN GINTMA?! AHHHHHH! STRAWBERRY MILK! PARFAIT SHOP! NOOOOOOO!" Gin shouted.

…..

"Sometimes, I really wonder how he became the main character in this series."

"Just stop it Gin-chan, that's OVERACTING already." Kagura said,with boredom in her face.

But Gin suddenly came closer to Kagura and he held her shoulders tightly, he was too desperate, "TELL ME KAGURA-CHAN! WHO THE HELL IS YOUR PRINCE?! FASTER! BEFORE SUGARLAND DISAPPEARS! TELL ME WHO YOUR PRINCE IS!"

"What are you talking about? And who is that prince anyway?" Kagura answered, she doesn't know what's really happening at that moment.

The Yorozuya had no choice but to come back to their position a while ago.

"What do we do Gin-san? We can't let Gintama anime end just because of this.." Shinpachi said worriedly.

"Of course, I will never let that happen. I think, the mechanics for this special is just simple. We just need to find Kagura's loveteam."

"I don't need that. There's Sadaharu…So he'll just be my loveteam..Ne, Sadaharu?" she said while smiling and caressed the furs of the ever innocent giant dog.

*KAPLOP!*

Bingo! Another smack on the head for Kagura given by Gin.

*IDIOTIC BACKGROUND MUSIC*

"Just who the hell would have 'heart flutters' when you're partnered with a dog? Your brain is just filled with sukonbu. Ughhh."

And then, a knock on the door was heard. It sounded suspicious.

"Ahhh…I can feel it. They're the people from that network. Our anime will end already. We're doomed. Pattsuan, just open the door." Gin commanded.

"*sigh* Why do I always get the role of opening the door in fanfics?" he slowly came to the door and opened it, what he saw were two angry faces of girls, together with other girls with the same aura as them.

*DARK AURA…*

"Could this be…You're…." *gulp*"THE TWO AUTHORS OF THIS FANFIC! Jur* and Dap**ne-san!"

"Ah. I'm just the translator." One of them interrupted, it was author 1.

And right after that, the two of them came inside without any care to the owner of that house.

"What? Don't you need to be preparing for the Valentine's special?" author 1 said who seemed to be threatening them.

"A-aaa—hehe..O-OF COURSE! …hahahahahaha!" *GIN'S PATHETIC LAUGH*

"Just be sure that we, fan girls would have 'kyah kyah' and 'kyun kyun' feeling, okay? Or else…ALL OF YOU WILL BE DEAD!" it was author 2.

"HEHEHEHEEHE…Don't you worry, you can count on us..we will make a oneshot fro Kagura…a-and her prince…hehehehe" said Shinpachi, the two authors suddenly looked at him.

…..

…..

"Then, you still have no idea who Kagura's prince is?" author 2 asked.

The fangirls were surprised.

"Nah. Not a clue." Gin asked.

*KYAAAAAH! SUPER KYAAAAAH! KYAAAAH KYAAAAH TO THE HIGHEST LEVEL…SUPER DUPER KYAAAH TO THE OUTER SPACE*

Suddenly the fangirl's faces changed.

"KYAAAAAAAH…Don't you know him? Kagura's prince? hehehehe" author 1 and 2 said.

"JUST STOP THOSE 'KYAAH KYAAH' YOU'RE DOING AND TELL US WHO HE IS!" Shinpachi said who seemed to be irritated with the authors' attitude.

"Ahhhhh..Well, he's the only…the cutest of all…he's….Haaay…. Kagura really is the luckiest girl living to have a partner like him…she beats Sha**, Tai**,Nag* and Lou**e with that kind of prince." Author 2 said dreamily.

"THEN WHO IS IT!?" Shinpachi asked once again.

Back to dark aura…

"That's your problem." Author 1 said.

The fan girls finally decided to get out from there just like a cult from an alien invasion movie.. but before they leave, Author 2 gave a little object to Gin.

"And what is this?" Gin asked.

"It could help you to find….KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAH….Kagura's prince."

"Can't you even give us a clue?" Shinpachi plead.

"He's **CUTE. **That's all…hehhehe" author 2 said.

And so, they have finally left the Yorozuy-

"Wait. Not yet." Author 1 interrupted.

She came in front of Gin.

*Click* *flash* *Click* *flash* it was in rapid succession and in different angles.

"Damn Gin. You're just so handsome." She said with a straight look in her face, "Marry me, after you marry Tsukuyo." *thumbs up*

And finally, she was gone.

Gin was frozen, "F-fan girls are scary, aren't they?"

"They've really hit their heads so hard, huh?" Shinpachi said.

"Well, it's fine. At least I've reassured something with their last statement." Gin replied.

"What's that?"

…..

….

"There's no way it would be you." Gin answered seriously.

"JUST WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!"

INSIDE A HOST CLUB…

"And why are we here?" Shinpachi and Kagura asked.

"Blah blah blah. Just stop asking! Isn't it obvious? We're here to find Kagura's prince!"

"And why do you think he'll be here?" Shin asked.

"Didn't they say that he's **CUTE**. All of the guys here are **CUTE** aren't they? So there's a big possibility that he's here…So Kagura, choose from those guys." But when Gin looked back Kagura was already in the counter ordering food.

"A dozen bowl of rice then 2 dozens of takoyaki!" she ordered.

A dozen of smacks coming right up! Given by Shinpachi and Gin.

"WE'RE ON THE VERGE OF EXPULSION IN PRIMETIME, BUT ALL YOU THINK ABOUT IS FOOD!" they both said.

"Just accept it Gin-chan and Shinpachi! The viewers have gone tired of you two!" Kagura said who continued to chew the food that she never planned on paying.

"OI BRAT! YOUR PAYMENT!" the guy in the cashier shouted.

Just like an air, they pretended not to hear anything. They dragged Kagura back to their chair.

"Kagura-chan! Will you please take this seriously!? Even just now!" Gin lectured.

"He's right Kagura, you're the one who could save Gintama Anime!" Shinpachi continued.

"Eh? But the anime's already ending, right?" Kagura said innocently.

"Ah. You're right. So we don't have to worry about it." Gin added.

"Ahahahaha… Nanda….I forgot about it, so we don't have to get so worked up anymore." Shinpachi said, "Let's just go home and spend this day normally."

"Haiiii…Since Gintama anime is already finished, this fanfic will now end. Kagura's prince was never found, it was just everyone's imagination. Bye by-"

*SWISH*

But before he could finish, three knives mysteriously came speeding into them. It didn't hit them, but it was too close to each of their heads. They were just shocked and took a look on those knives.

_IT WAS THE AUTHORS! _ they all screamed in their minds.

"E-eh…K-kagur-chan. W-what are you talking about?! Even if the anime has ended Gintama still remains on every fan's heart so we still have to continue this! H-Ha-HAhAHHHAA!"

"G-Gin-san is right! B-banzai Gintama!" Shinpachi pathetically added.

Kagura and Gin just joined him. And so, on to the story….

Gin stood up and brought Kagura in the middle of the Host Club.

"EVERYONE! This girl standing beside me is finding her Prince…So to those who are interested in her, just come here…Just look at her, isn't she so cute?" Gin said with blushing effects.

But unfortunately, Kagura's not your average heroine, she doesn't care about the mood or the atmosphere, she would do what she wants to do. Copying her great sensei, Gin, she explored the insides and dug deeeeper and deeeeper into her nose using her pinky finger.

What a great sight isn't it? Coming from this supposed to be cute heroine of Gintama.

*GROSS*

30 MINUTES LATER…

Not even a fly came to them, their eyeballs have sunken but nothing happened. No one would even dare to come close to Kagura just by witnessing what she just did. Then, Otae suddenly came…

"Gin, Shinpachi, Kagura…so you were here too?" she said innocently though the truth is, she's been stalking the three for a while already.

"Anego! Why are you here? And why are you with Eli?" Kagura asked.

"Me?" Otae looked back,"Oh my, I think it's just one of those wild animals like that Gorilla I just reported to the animal center.. By the way, I think you've got a big problem here huh?"

"Haaay…another person who would mess up this fanfic appeared…" Gin said.

*PAKKK!*

And so a specialty kick was given to Gin. Shinpachi came to the scene.

"Aneue! Actually, we're finding a prince for Kagura..we really need it for the specials..But no one gets interested with her."

"Is that it? Then I guess we only need to change her appearance." Otae said.

"How?" the two guys curiously asked.

Otae, without a word, borrowed Kagura for a while. When they came back..

….

….

"TADA!" Otae presented Kagura, "Isn't she just too pretty?"

All eyes on Kagura even the guys on the host club got interested on her. With a curly blond pigtails and an extravagant gown from Victorian period together with a flowery head dress, Kagura changed dramatically.

"OIIIIII! Aneue! She just cosplayed Elizabet* from Kur*shitsuj*!" Shinpachi shouted.

"Maa maa, Shinpachi-kun, cosplaying is the fad these days." Otae said.

"Oi, is that the nose-picking-girl from a while ago? I didn't know she was this cute." One of the guys in the host club said.

And finally, guys kept coming to them.

AFTER 30 MINUTES…..

"What the hell? We're so unlucky today. Lots of guys came to us, but no one passed the Chemistry Meter…JUST WHY DO WE STILL NEED THAT?!" Shinpachi irritatingly said.

"I told you, right? It's too impossible to get a prince for her. Just look at that." Gin said, pointing Kagura at the opposite side of the table, beating the guys who came to her, together with Otae, "Before we find her prince, all of the guys in the world must be **M**."

"Huh? What's that **M**?"Shinpachi asked.

"Did you say **M**?" and suddenly a girl from the ceiling came out, and you guessed it right, it's none other than Gin's ever loyal stalker, Sacchan, "M…M….this is a rare occurrence between two lovers. If you became M, you'll have this unique strength and purity of the soul. M is the greatest power that could only be given to those who are chosen. M is-"

But before she could finish it, she got kicked by the two guys.

"JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Gin shouted.

And so, Otae and Kagura had almost killed all the guys in that host club, the two amazons came back to Gin and Shinpachi.

"Great Kagura-chan, you wasted our time once again." Shinpachi greeted her.

"She just couldn't like any of those guys." Otae answered. With that perpetual smile in her lips like she didn't beat any guys a while ago.

"Why not just Sadaharu?" Kagura asked.

"You want me to smack you?" Gin angrily said.

"Wait, Kagura-chan..Who's your type of guy anyway?" Otae asked seriously.

"I bet it's the Factory manager of sukonbu." Gin and Shinpachi answered.

Kagura paused for a bit, she was like thinking deeply of the answer. Then all of a sudden, the aura around her changed.

"I want someone that I could never get tired with, someone that you could toy around or do pranks.. Someone who pretends not to care about you but he still tries to find you..Someone who acts like a criminal but when he cries, your world stops..Someone that I'll have fun punching and torturing but you prefer hugging..Someone who smiles once in a blue moon but makes your heart beat fast and fall instantly once you see that..Someone who would play pranks around you, tease you, but in the end..You'll fall in love with him." Kagura said, with an ooc voice just like in ep 252 of Gintama.

"Kagura-chan, you're so great!" Otae commented, her eyes were sparkling.

*fish eyes* "Where's you pick up that line? From shoujo mangas huh?" Gin told Kagura.

"If that's the case, then I'm afraid…I'm the one you're looking for." And suddenly a guy wearing some hiphop style of clothings appeared. He had a long, red hair which was

"AND WHO THE HELL IS THAT?!" Gin asked.

"Even if you dye your hair with Pink no.35, it's too obvious that it's Katsura-san." Shinpachi replied with droopy eyes.

*TENG-TENG!*

"Wait…You're wrong! I am… *ehem*.."

*PAKKKKKKK!PAKKK!*

"Don't talk anymore!" the trio said together with a kick.

After the endless tormenting, Zura stood up once again.

"Oi! I already told you I'm not Katsura!" he shouted at the AUTHOR, "I am…."

*Sparkling background with roses"

*BACKGROUND MUSIC: YUY* HAK*SHO OPENING THEME*

"I am the mysterious prince of roses…Dennis Rap!"

*TUGS TUGS TUGS TUGS TUGS TUGS!*

"Yo! Listen everyone! Dennis Rap here! I need curry; give me curry! Break it down…YEAH!" he rapped in an unsynchronized tone together with his radio

*fish eyes* "Shinpachi, just kick him out from here." Gin commanded the glasses.

But at that moment, the Shimura siblings were just staring at that rapping with unexplainable faces.

"I want curry! I want curry!" Zura continued.

With that, Kagura's stomach was grumbling once again; so she kind of got along with Katsura's rap. Shinpachi noticed that their Chemistry level suddenly went up.

"Gin-san!" Shinpachi called; "Look! It's getting higher! I think we finally found him!"

"Ohh…Nice one Zura! Who knew you'd be a worthy human once in a while. Yosh! Our problem's finished!" Gin said.

In the midst of that merriment; suddenly…

*CHEMISTRY LEVEL: 80….65….40….30…10….*

"Oiiii! What's happening? Is it broken already?" Gin said.

The two of them were confused, just when they thought they've already settled things; there were beings coming out of the screen; the AUTHORS.

"IT'S YOU AGAIN?!" Gin shouted; getting irritated with these two.

"Well yeah. The chemistry level went up. But that's just because of Curry! He's not the prince! HAHAHAHAHA!" author 1 started.

"What the hell?! Are you just playing around with us?! Why can't you just say it!" Gin continued getting more irritated with them.

"Are you out of your mind? If we say that then Part 1 would end already! HAHAHA! It won't be fun if you don't work hard for that." Author 2 said.

"Wooow. I didn't know they were SADISTS." Shinpachi replied.

The two authors blushed suddenly..

*CHEMISTRY LEVEL: 10….30….50….80…..85….94…*

Gin and Shinpachi were confused.

"Oi! You crazy authors! Why did that thing suddenly went up? Kagura's in the toilet right now coz of that curry that Zura gave her. And why the hell did you blush, huh?!"

"Kyaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh…ADIOS." And they were gone from the screen.

"Ah. They're gone. They're the authors so why are they passing this responsibility to us?" Shinpachi just said.

He just sighed and focused on the Chemistry level once again, "Gin-san, don't you think it's really broken?" and he tried to tap it lightly.

"Shinpachi. Could it be that Kagura's prince is in the toilet?" Gin asked.

"What do you mean?"

"What if it was just a…"

*BACKGROUND: A DISGUSTING THING WITH CENSOR IN IT. A THING STORED IN THE TOILET AND MOST OF THE TIME, IT FALLS FROM THE SHINSENGUMI'S COMMANDER*

"Commander of Shinsengumi you say? Well then,if that's the case, I am that Prince that you're finding for!" and so, Kondo suddenly came out together with that complete GORILLA outfit.

*PAKKKKKKK!*

Otae was enraged once again, "And why the hell are you here, huh?! Didn't I already report you in Animal Control?!"

"More Otae! More! I could feel more of your love with those words!"

Kondou just sat beside them not caring about the fact that everyone in front of him is not interested even just a bit.

"When it comes to love stories, just leave it to me!" he confidently stated, "We can just use this…"

All of a sudden, it turned into a story telling session.

_In a land far away, there lived a Humongous Gorilla who was searching for a girl who would love him. Until she came, she was a very beautiful young girl with red hair who wore a Chinese dress. They got closer with each other until she betrayed the Prince of Gorillas. She sold him to the people who were interested on experimenting him and brought him to the city, and that's where Kin* Kon*… I mean the Prince had escaped. The humans tormented him but that's when his true love came, a girl doctor who had a black hair in a ponytail. They got married and lived happily ever after…._

_Kagura's Prince (Gorilla version)_

"It's great right? It's great?" he asked with enthusiasm in his face.

"He just changed the ending, but it's still King* Kon*, right?" Gin boringly replied, as he picked his nose.

"He really got serious with being a Gorilla." Kagura added, copying Gin's actions.

*CHEMISTRY LEVEL: 0….-5…-30….-75…*

And the Wild Gorilla was thrown away.

"We must be more careful now! We need to take this seriously!" Gintoki was now being serious.

Then Yamazaki came, together with his beloved Anpan…

"We only need Anpan in our liv-"

*CHEMISTRY LEVEL: 12%*

*OTAE-SAN SPECIAL FLYING KICK*

Then Sakamoto with that usual stupid face of him, "Kintoki! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"He's just a pervert. Just throw him away."

*CHEMISTRY LEVEL: 10%*

*OTAE-SAN SPECIAL FLYING KICK*

Then Madao entered the host club, "They told me I would have a job "

"Sunglasses can't qualified as a prince."

*CHEMISTRY LEVEL: 5%*

*OTAE-SAN SPECIAL FLYING KICK*

Then it was Bak- Hata Ouji, "We all know that there's only one and only prince in this anime, and that's m-"

*CHEMISTRY LEVEL: -85%*

*OTAE-SAN SPECIAL FLYING KICK*

Then Hijikata came, "Oi. Kondou-san, I came to get you."

"We don't have mayonnaise."

*CHEMISTRY LEVEL: 35%*

*OTAE-SAN SPECIAL FLYING KICK*

"*sigh* Almost all of the characters in Gintama have come here. What do we do now, Gin-san?" Shinpachi said, more worried in their situation.

But Gintoki just won't give up that easily.

"In the name of Sugar Land! I will be Kagura's Prince!"

"Geh. I don't want a smelly old man." Kagura said.

"You ungrateful brat! Do you think I really want this!? I'm willing to sacrifice my dignity even if I would be labeled as Lolicon!" Then the naturally permed guy came closer to Kagura, "But I really don't know what do I do with you.."

"Gin! The Chemistry Level went up!" Shinpachi replied.

Now both of their attention is on Shinpachi.

*CHEMISTRY LEVEL: 90%*

"Yes! We did it!" they all shouted with joy, even the GinKagu fans.

"So it was Gin-san all along." Shinpachi said.

They were all relieved at that time, confident that they have already solved the problem, but then the two authors suddenly appeared.

Author 2 started speaking, "Congratulations to all of you. The Chemistry level have reached 90%, indeed a high score. But I forgot to show you this…."

*Minimum Chemistry Level: 90.0000000111*

"HAH?! Even if you round it off, it's still 90 right?! Just stop this nonsense!" Gin complained.

"There's nothing we can do about it. And also, Gin-san is not Kagura's prince. Bye bye~" and with that they both disappeared.

*JAW DROP*

"We're done for."

"Sugar laaaaaand~!"

*GLOOM*

"Hahahaha! Why don't you just accept it! The truth is, there's really NO PRINCE! He doesn't exist! Because none of you are qualified to be, and I just don't want any of you!" Kagura said, then continued, "*sigh* All of you looked useless to me. Many fangirls may love you, but you don't pass my standards." And it was followed by a demonic laugh, "Oi! That guy over there!" then she pointed some random guy in the host club, "Bring me a rice cake!"

The guy immediately complied with her demand. She was just like the Queen of that place.

"So it's better for you to give up, because I will never ever like any of the useless men in this anime! HAH! As if I'd be like the other Kugumiya girls who would have those creepy sparkling BG with blushing face with their partners like they have their own worlds. How pathetic! I only love food and beat up anyone!"

…..

…

…..

But her grandiose speech was worthless, when she noticed her surroundings, no one was around. She was talking to the thin air because the ones with her a while ago were now having their own conversation.

"I'm the Queen here! So you have to include me with your conversations!"

She was then caught off guard when she heard what they were talking about. She almost puked because of it.

"Wait Shinpachi. I just noticed that someone is missing from us."

"*Sigh* Gin-san, don't include Takeshi. Just let him be that mysterious rental man."

"I'm not talking about him! *sigh* It's too impossible that 'he' won't be here, because we all know that Kagura and 'him' were together in some episodes."

She felt more tense with the arising topic, "Didn't I tell you that I don't like any of you! SO IT CAN'T BE 'HIM'!" she appeared to be mad but the pink hue in her cheeks won't hide her embarrassment.

"Hehe….Not like the other Kugumiya girls, eh?" Gin was now grinning.

"IT'S NOT 'HIM'!"

"I think I already know who he is." Hijikata, who just appeared out of nowhere, interrupted, "I KNOW HIM WELL."

The blush on her face just became redder, of course, it's because this mayo freak is close to…..

"Tell me honestly Kagura, you already know who your prince is even from the start right? AH! So that's why when we are with 'him', Gintama becomes a shoujo manga even though it's in Jump." Gin added.

"NO! I ALREADY SAID NO! I only care about foods!"

Kagura was aware of that, when she came with Shinpachi in a computer shop, there was a group of teen age girls squealing. She thought they were talking about Hikar* and Ke* of Specia* A, but it was actually her and….

"It's fine China musume," now it was Kondo who suddenly appeared in the scene, "It's normal for girls at your age to experience the spring of your youth which is your First Love. I will talk with him just for your sake, I know 'he' would listen to me becau-" But he was interrupted by Kagura's fist landing on his face.

"SHUT UP GORI! Gorillas like you don't have the right to talk about those things! Wait. Just why the hell does every one of you thinks the same person? I told you, it's not 'HIM'! NOT 'HIM'! I HATE HIM!"

"If you don't like 'him', then why are you refusing to tell us who 'he' is? I didn't know you have exotic tastes when it comes to guys."Yamazaki said, again, he appeared out of nowhere.

"HAH! Now I get it, 'he' was the reason why you would always go out of our house every afternoon! Just admi Kagura-chan." Shinpachi said.

"I-i….I was just playing with Sadaharu b-because…that's the time for him to do his business!"

She won't admit it to herself, even if Sadaharu's ass is still completely fine, she would still go outside during afternoon because she knows that she would see 'him'. It is the time when 'he' would be dilly dallying around, doing his 'job'.

"Just admit it Kagura-chaaaan~ This is for the sake of Gintama anime! JUST FOLLOW WHAT YOUR DADDY SAYS OR YOU'RE GONNA GET IT!" Gintoki was already angry, then it finally sud sided, "Then, do you want me to announce it to everyone? That Kagura's prince is….."

"JUST SHUT UP YOU BASTARDS! I ALREADY TOLD YOU IT'S NOT HIM! NOT THAT SON OF A BITCH WORTHLESS TRASH AND TAX ROBBER SADISTIC CAPTAIN!"

* . . *

"Ah..Wait. but he's just a simple gardener. And why would he be a sadist? He almost killed us just because we almost stepped on an insect and flowers..and he's not a captain, Hedoro that is."

"Eh? Sadist? Isn't that the main description for Sougo?" Hijikata added.

And that's when everyone realized it,

That all along, the HEDORO that they all thought was Kagura's prince, in her mind, it was actually SOUGO OKITA.

Kagura's eyes were now pure white because of embarrassment she just had.

"Ahhhh…so it was Souichirou-kun, huh? You should've said so earlier. I really though it was Hedoro. " Gin innocently said.

"Now that you think about it, Okita-san is cute if you would just ignore his sadism." Yamazaki added.

Everyone was now silent.

"So, the story has now ended."

Then Hijikata dressed like an otaku as he looked at the camera, "Stay tuned for the Adventures of Super Mayora in Mayo land! Coming next!"

* …PAK!*

*POWERPUNCH!*

Hijikata finally realized the shame of what he just did and came back to normal.

"Ne Ogushi-kun." Gin was looking at Hijikata.

"Who the hell is Ogushi-kun, you bastard?!"

"Hah?! That stupid brat? Tottsuan gave him a job. He took the job right away because it offers a big amount of money. Tch. That greedy bastard."

"Hell yeah. I hope he won't go back here anymore!" Kagura said, "He's a complete trash for me. Just seeing him pisses me off. I just want to kill him and beat the crap out of him. And even if he uses his bishounen looks I won't ever like him and won' ever regret it my whole life!"

…..

…..

…

"Oh? Is that so? Then that's good to hear. Coz he's mine now."

All their attentions were now on that girl, they were all looking back.

She was very fat with a dark skin. Yeah, let's just call him Ham Girl, who shamelessly wrapped her hands around a certain creamy brown haired guy who was wearing a Chinese outfit with black pants. He was just smiling, like you won't be able to distinguish if he was enjoing it or he was just simply disgusted.

"Heh. Looks like everyone is having fun here, huh?" Sougo greeted who seemed to be OOC.

Everyone: JAWDROP

"Oi oi! Is this the JOB that you were talking about? You really would do anything for money, huh?" Hijikata eyed Sougo and the Ham girl being lovey dovey like he was teasing him.

"You're right Hijikata-san, I need money to earn for your remarkable death." He was still smiling.

"COME HERE AND I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Hijikata had already reached his limits, he was really angry now.

"For your information, Sou-kun's job is not as easy as it looks. The truth is, I have already chosen him as my Prince."

And so, the story telling began.

"Of all the episodes that I have been in Gintama, almost all of it were about my failure in love. Sometimes I just pity myself because every guy that I fell in love with leaves me. I had already given up, I really thought no one would ever love me again. Not until I met him. I knew, he is the Prince for me." She tried to kiss Sougo in his cheeks, but he just punched her in her face.

"Arara, I'm sorry Princess, I thought you were a HAM." He told her.

Because of her LARGE size, she was able to hold both Sougo's arms and leaned him on the wall.

"You are my Prince! So that's why I would give you my sweet first kiss…Muuuuuu"

But suddenly she felt some cold hands holding her shoulder. When the Ham girl looked back, there was a demonic and fiery red aura seen in a certain Chinese girl.

"And just who the hell are you to touch him like that?...EAT THIS!"

*KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMM! TO THE 100000TH POWER*

She flew in the sky, just like a space rocket that was just launched. Let's not go into details with what Kagura did to her.

Ham girl was gone, same with the smoke. Shinpachi, Gin and everyone else in the host club were surprised that the sadistic captain and the china girl were not in there anymore.

"*sigh* Kids these days." Gintoki said.

"Gin-san, we already forgot to measure the Okita and Kagura Chemistry level."

None of them knew that these two were now roaming around in some festival.

"Oi oi Sadist! Why the hell did you drag me here? I still need to finish that Ham girl!" Kagura was trying her best to escape from Sougo's grip, but for some unknown reason, she just couldn't let go. It was like she transformed into a normal girl whenever she's with him.

"Aww shut up China. Just stop that jealousy of yours. You're still the only criminal alien that I want here in Edo." He replied in a dead pan tone.

"I AM NOT JEALOUS!"

"Maa maa, I'm sure every reader of this fanfic is already waiting for our shoujo manga like scene. We have to give them fan service you know."

"The hell do I care about them! They need to accept reality, they're all too ambitious."

While Kagura was getting too irritated with her situation, out of the blue, Sougo held her shoulders and slowly…

He kissed her forehead.

"Thanks for the jealousy, China."

Then he walked away from her.

"OI! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!? What does that mean?!" Kagura asked.

"Let's just say, it's the prize from YOUR prince." Sougo replied.

Kagura doesn't know how to react with this OOCness of Sadist, she could only frown at him. Nah. She just wants sukonbo right now, was what her brain says; but her heart tells her to follow the guy in front of him. The guy meant for her alone, her PRINCE.

CHEMISTRY LEVEL: 100%

**FIN**

_**KAGURA'S PRINCE (PART 1)**_

_A Gintama FanfIC_

"Oi wait! Then what would happen to us here?! What? That's all?! Wed just be here standing on the host club?!" Gin complained.

"What about the adventures of Super Mayora in Mayo land?" Hijikata interfered.

"JUST STOP TALKING WILL YOU!?" the pair of glasses retorted.

Kagura's Prince Prt 2 Spoiler!

Sougo and Kagura were in front of a shooting stand.

"Don't you remember anything, Sadist?"

"No I don't."

(Gintama episode 17: The 'fateful' encounter of Sougo and Kagura in a shooting stand where the poor Madao was bullied)

They were greeted by the vendor right away.

"Yes! It seems that these young lovers would be my first customers. Okay then, who will be shooting first?"

But it seemed that the said 'lovers' didn't hear him, Sougo just took away one of the toy guns there and aimed it at the prizes.

"Just leave it to me China. Because it was always the guy who gets the prizes for the girl to look cool in shoujo mangas."

But when he looked back, Kagura had already hit the grand prize.

*BG music: Toubun Tora ne Tonaa*

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING CHINA! YOU JUST RUINED THE ATMOSPHERE! "

"Are you stupid? If we'd do that then we'd just be copy cats. It's already been to clichéd in shoujo animes! Oi baldie! Where are the prizes?!"

"BUT THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING! YOU MORON!"

Kagura just ignored him and handed the prize to him.

"And why are you giving this to me! I'm supposed to be the one to do this, right?! It was always the gut who gives the girl these prizes! What a monster you ar-"

His sentence was cut when he saw what the China girl had given him.

"I-I couldn't think of any prize that you would like from there. S-so…. I thought I'd just give this to you. Ahhh…I just noticed that you liked voo doo dolls."

Sougo just kept his cool, but he knew he was smiling while she was handing over that cute voodoo doll.

"Uhhhhh…Thank you."

For the first time, Sougo's tone was not the usual dead pan one. He walked away right away, after he had received Kagura's gift.

"Oi. Why are you leaving?! You're forgetting something."

"And what is that?"

Then Kagura came closer to him. Their distance from one another was only half a meter. She then placed her finger on his left cheek like she wanted to tell him something.

"MMMMMM!" Kagura said while poking his left cheek.

"Hmmmmm?" Sougo replied as if he doesn't get it.

"MMMM! Where's the kiss?"

"HAH?! Kiss?!"

"Tch tch. You have such low IQ, Sadist. Didn't you know that when the guy had given the prize to the girl, he asks for a kiss as a reward?"

"China, you're the low IQ. I think you're reversing the gender roles here. You're just ruining this spoiler. Ugh. They might think I'm OOC here."

"Eh? Actually you've been out of character since a while ago."

"Hah? That's impossible! I must kill Hijikata first before my image worsens!"

It was when Sougo noticed that almost all the other couples there were watching them. They were all admiring their sweetness.

"Aww, just take a look at that couple, they're so sweet." One of the couple said.

"Look what have you done?! Are you nuts?!"

Sougo could feel it, the crumbling of his dignity that he worked hard to maintain, as the people around them watched them.

"Just let your girlfriend have what she wants. It's just a kiss, right?"

"Yeah, you're so lucky. She's beautiful."

"She even tried to win that prize just to give it to you, just kiss her!"

"KISS!"

"KISS!"

"KISS!"

And so, but by bit, Sougo's dignity was crushed because of the circumstances. There's nothing he can do about it but,..

He came closer to Kagura and kissed her cheek, then he immediately dragged her away from the shooting stand.

No words can express how much shame he feels right now.


End file.
